My second day back at work was uneventful. At home, Grace was giving Betsey a run for her money. I came home to a tired wife and a sleeping daughter. The sleep had only just started, and Betsey looked drained to say the least.
Grace slept for a couple hours before demanding more all-night attention. Pacifiers are a small blessing.
May 19
Wednesday was much the same as Tuesday, so there's really not much to say about the day.
Like any other day, though, I had to watch my wife in tears as she tried to feed our little one. Breastfeeding is going alright, but it's also going painfully. It's not a bad latch; It's not bad positioning; It's not a lack of milk; It's just damn painful.
Nature's a cruel keeper. It asks so much of women, and I find it unbelievable that a woman is supposed to handle a hormonal drop, physical healing, and sustained pain through feeding and at the same time is expected to bond and have good feelings for this agent of terror. I find it hard enough when I'm rocking the girl through back pain and ear-splitting screams to keep my thoughts about her positive, and I know that this pales in comparison to what Betsey faces every 2 to 4 hours.
So as not to concern anyone, my little girl is amazingly awesome, when the screaming stops, and she sits there all cute, innocent, and peaceful, there's no measure for the warmth and love that I feel for her being. That said, you don't find a lot of candid thoughts from parents about how, at times, having their new child is not always the best thing that's ever happened to them. You start to feel like a bad parent, and all the older folks have lost their memories of these things to the passage of time. When I look at Grace, I see a wonderful future of happy family moments. It's just hard to get that image when I'm sleep deprived, and I can't hear my own thoughts. She's worth it though.
May 20th
So the night of May 19th into the morning of May 20th, Betsey and I saw nary a drop of sleep. Betsey had a lab at OHSU in Portland to get to that evening, and I was in no state for work. As the sun rose, the daughter fell asleep. She looked angelic. I called in fatigued to work, and Betsey and I both took our shot at some z's.
I think we got a couple hours, and then as noon approached, the responsibilities of the day grew more insistent. We packed the car with all the gear that Betsey's cousin Abby would need to watch Grace for the evening. I drove us as far as Salem, where I work, and started my day. Betsey continued up to Abby, who took charge of our lass. Betsey took the short hop up the hill to OHSU and started her 4-hour-plus lab.
From what we hear, Grace was pretty much a perfect girl in our absence. She had at least one first, meeting a dog. Ruby, an Irish Red Setter, was apparently intrigued by our little person, except at the end when she starting squalling, at which point Ruby looked in the carrier, looked at her
News of Grace being in Portland spread like wildfire. When Betsey returned to Abby's, she found it had been overrun. Grandma and Grandpa, Grandpa's friend Mike, and Grand Uncle Brent and Lori, had all descended on the place. Abby used the presence of Grandma and Grandpa to exit and get a few things taken care of. It's this kind of support that makes us wish we could live in Portland yesterday. We'll get there as soon as we can.
Edits:
Aunt Lucy and her friend Annalea also had stopped by.
Mike's last name removed for privacy.
On leaving, Betsey drove to Salem where I was picked up and took over driving responsibilities. Betsey called ahead to the Shari's to make a to-go order of breakfast platters. By the time we got home, the day had rolled over. Friday had started, and we hadn't taken a picture of Grace on Thursday. I call that busy.
May 21st
Things started to get better on Friday. How could things not feel better after Thursday? I was tired all day at work, but I'm getting use to that. From what I could tell on arriving home, Grace and Betsey had managed a pretty good day. We had a typical evening together, but when bed time rolled around, I retired to the family room couch. We'd devised a plan, and it started with me getting 8 hours of sleep Friday night.
I'll let you know how that plan turned out shortly.
1 comment:
Maybe it's a good thing you're writing all this down now, so that when time has its way with you, too (and it will), you won't fall quite so victim to revisionism when it comes to relating to Grace's struggles as a new parent. ;)
(Did that make any sense? I can't be sure; everything's muddled at midnight when I'm trying not to fall asleep while feeding Eleri...)
Post a Comment